Happiness
by Soccerisawesome19
Summary: Happiness. A funny thing, isn't it. You might be telling yourself that you are happy, when really you aren't. You might be telling yourself that you don't need happiness, as long as the one you love is happy. I didn't mean for it to turn out this way. But maybe it's for the better. Yes, it's for the better.


For Michy (Michy Drarry Shipper). SORRY I KNOW YOU LOVE DRARRY BUT I REALLY CAN'T WRITE DRARRY WELL. I'VE TRIED, AND I'VE FAILED. So I chose WolfStar. :D Enjoy! (This was really hard to write because I ship BLACKINNON for the rest of my life, so I hope it turned out good.) (Also I'm really bad at writing anything other than straight pairings, so I really hope this is okay. I've tried a million times and I guess I'm getting better with practice finally) (Sorry for the extreme lateness)

Also for acciomemories it's her birthday! YAY! :D Have a really really great birthday with lots of cake and chocolate and yummy stuff! :D (Birthday Fic Exchange III) (this is really late sorry)

Spell Competition: Expecto Patronum

Wand Competition: Cyprus

One Million Words Competition: 1,316 words

If You Dare Challenge: 394. Intense

Dark!Remus AU

**Happiness**

Happiness. A funny thing, isn't it. You might be telling yourself that you are happy, when really you aren't. You might be telling yourself that you don't need happiness, as long as the one you love is happy.

Watching him made me happy. Watching him laugh his beautiful laugh, and smile that gorgeous smile. That made me happy.

But not when it was with someone else. Not when it was with Marlene. Watching him touch her arm, kiss her, whisper into her ear. No. I hated that. But I'd tell myself that I was happy. He's happy, so I'm happy. But was I? Really? No, of course I wasn't.

I didn't mean for it to turn out this way.

But maybe it was for the better. Yes, it was for the better.

* * *

"Moony! Moonsyyyyy!" Sirius called.

I smiled. Putting on a serious expression, I turned towards him. "What is it?" I asked, sighing.

"Oh, is our Moonsy annoyed with little Pads?" Sirius asked, pouting.

I rolled my eyes. "What do you want?"

"How do you know I want something?" he asked, grinning.

"Because you never call me Moonsy unless you want something from me," I replied, hiding a smile.

"Well… can you please pretend to be me and go to detention so that I can go on a date with Marlene? Please? Pretty pretty please?" he asked, batting his eyes at me playfully.

I rolled my eyes once more, feeling the twinge of irritation knowing he was going to be with Marlene. "No way… why do I have to do that for you?"

"We're friends! Please, I'll love you forever!" Sirius begged.

My heart twinged. "Don't you already love me, though?"

"Of course! But I'll love you forever! That's quite amazing you know, to receive love from the great Sirius Black forever!" Sirius pronounced, smirking.

"But you already promised that last time I went into detention for you. Anyway, can't you just transfigure a chair to be you and throw it into the room? It's not like Slughorn will notice." I said, turning away from him to hide my angry expression.

"Moonsy, are you mad at me? Don't be mad!" Sirius hugged me from behind. "Please! Just this once!"

I felt his breath on my ear and shivered almost inconceivably.

"Are you cold? Do you want me get you some hot chocolate? Please, I'll do anything for you!" Sirius said, pulling away from me and walking to face me.

"Hot chocolate would be nice." _So would a kiss_.

"I'll be right back!" Sirius dashed off to the kitchen to get some hot chocolate. In minutes, he was back with a steaming mug of hot chocolate.

"Here's your hot chocolate! I even got some marshmallows for you!" Sirius grinned at me.

I couldn't help but grin back. "Fine, I'll do it. But this is the last time, okay?"

"YES! THANK YOU thank you THANK YOU SO MUCH!" Sirius leapt up and down into the air with glee, pumping his fists in delight. "You're the best Moony!" He kissed me on both cheeks and ran away to find Marlene.

I touched my cheeks and blushed, long after he had gone away.

* * *

I could feel myself starting to change. James and Sirius nodded. They changed wordlessly; Peter already changed since he pushed the knob.

After that, I could not make any words or control my body at all. The rest of my memories were a blur of attacking James and Sirius—with Peter hiding in the corner, and feeling Sirius' dog body against my wolf one.

The next morning, I found myself changed back and waited for them to wake up. We all had scratches—well of course, everyone but Peter. I apologized a countless amount of times to them, but they just said the same thing as usual—"If you say that one more time, I will literally punch you."

Then, I thanked them another countless amount of times to them, and they repeated what they had said earlier.

We went to go eat breakfast, and of course, Severus glared at all of us suspiciously. James _accidentally_ poked him with his wand as he walked by, and quickly apologized with a terribly sarcastic voice.

Lily quickly went over and pinched him as she pulled him to the Gryffindor table, not looking at Severus while she did it. Severus started longingly at the space where Lily had once been, but that gaze of longing was also filled with hatred for James.

Little did I know that I would be helping the boy I hated, Severus, plan something terrible. How could I do something like that? I just couldn't see Sirius being happy with anyone else but me. I couldn't see Sirius looking with those beautiful intense dark eyes of his at anyone other than me; I couldn't see anyone but me being under Sirius' piercing dark gaze.

It was selfish, but it was true. I couldn't stand it if he was looking, holding, smiling at, kissing, anyone but me. Not that Sirius had ever kissed me. Oh, he had kissed me once. Just once, though. When he was overexaggerating like always and thanking me for helping him with his homework. Though I had reacted like I was disgusted, inside, I had quite enjoyed it.

It wasn't just Marlene, though. Before her, he had been with so many other girls. That had been the reason that Marlene hadn't wanted to be with him, but apparently he was _really_ in love with her this time. I could see it in his eyes, as much as I hated to admit it. The love was true.

The other times though, I knew that they weren't. They were just one night stands. So they were better, because I knew that inside, he didn't really feel for them. Emotionless. He was just doing it for the sex. That didn't stop me from causing _oh so _unfortunate accidents, like Jane Samuels in Ravenclaw who accidentally broke her arm somehow, or Anne Swellows, the third year in Hufflepuff who woke up with a concussion in the sixth floor hallways.

This time, though, it was different. He didn't really care about the others, so even if they did get hurt, he wouldn't care. But if Marlene got hurt… he would be hurt too. I knew that. And that was the worse part. If I didn't want to hurt him, I couldn't hurt her. Which meant I had to be kind to her, no matter what happened. As much as I hated it, it was true. I had to do it for him.

But one day, it was too much. School had finished, they were thinking about marrying. This was one thing that I could never stand watching. I just couldn't.

When the opportunity lay itself out to me, I couldn't help but take it.

Anonymous tipping, that's what I called it. She deserved it. At least, that's what I kept on telling myself, after the guilt got to me.

I tipped her off. I told the Death Eaters; I told Sirius' brother, Regulus, and Severus Snape, Lily's ex-best friend, James' long time enemy-I told them where she lived. The exact address. I knew they'd be home that day.

The whole McKinnon family died that day, including Marlene and Sirius' child. The pain that got him was so much. The pain in his eyes, the angst. He could never know that it had been me that had tipped her family off. If he did, he would hate me forever.

And that was the end of that.

I didn't regret it.

Happiness is a funny thing. You'd think that your happiness would come from seeing someone else be happy. But not always. Sometimes, someone's misery and pain brings you happiness, because that misery and pain would be so much better than something else.

That was the same for me.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry I don't know what that was… I tried…


End file.
